A few weeks ago, I found myself in a major downer. I was having nightmares, struggling to sleep, struggling to get up and all in all not in a good place. I felt like I was going back to my 2018 breakdown as the dark thoughts began creeping out. I knew I couldn’t let this happen. I couldn’t do it to my family again, to myself. So I set up a goal, something to work towards, something to feel proud of (I also needed something to keep myself occupied and keep me out of the house).
So, I had a Fitbit for Christmas last year, which was obviously great whilst I was out mountaineering, but once winter hit, and then the virus, it became an ornament on my dresser. So I decided to put it to some good use, and set a goal to walk the equivalent of Mount Everest in a week (85,238). To do this, I aimed to walk at least 16,000 steps a day, challenging myself with hill climbs also. I have always been a big walker, and I am a qualified mountaineer, so it was no surprise that I completed my goal in seven days.
This goal made me feel GREAT. Not because I walked the steps, I knew I would, but because it was pointless. After my Fitbit buzzed to say I had hit my week goal, I felt stupid. I had just spent a whole week of my life trying to complete a goal that had absolutely no benefit. It didn’t make me any fitter, stronger, smarter or thinner. But what it did do, was give me a wake up call. I realised that I can’t spend my time working on pointless achievements, when I can be working harder to actually set up a life for myself. That I do have a future, if I’m willing to put in as much effort into my work, as I did this walk. And that was it. I have spent my time since then working on my business, blog and university work. I have been building my journalism portfolio ready for my masters, and have filled an A4 binder with dissertation research. I have posted on this blog more, and have been building products and designs for my business.
So although this achievement was a pointless one, and didn’t have any impact what so ever on my day to day life, it was something I needed to do. I needed to realise the path I was on, and change course before it was too late. Now, the bad thoughts are gone, I am sleeping better, the nightmares have vanished and I am back to my old, regular self.
Have you ever had a wake up call? Or have a story similar to mine? Let me know!